Drinking Three Cups of Coffee a Day Will Literally Give You Life

News. Posted 1 week ago

Catalogue Staff


Sade eating breakfast in bed is how we wanna be right now. Image Source.

Don’t talk to me before I’ve had my morning coffee! No seriously, don’t, because at that point in time I’ll be a teeny tiny bit closer to death. Finally an explanation for the haggard half-human state I wake up in every single day!

Two massive new studies confirm what you’ve always suspected: drinking coffee is so good for you that it can actually extend your life expectancy. Research carried out by the Imperial College London and the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) suggests that drinking three cups of coffee per day reduces your chance of death “from any cause” — via the Independent. Time to pour those turmeric lattes down the drain.

The IARC group studied more than half a million people across Europe and found men who down three cups of covfefe a day were 18% less likely to die from any cause than non-coffee drinkers, while caffeinated women were 8% less likely to die than their tea-sipping counterparts. A US study that surveyed over 185,000 people also found those who drank one cuppa per day were 12% less likely to die early regardless of ethnicity, and if they bumped their intake up to three cups, their mortality rate increased to 18%. These studies also found that ~plot twist~ both caffeinated coffee and decaf will do the trick.

Dr Veronica Setiawan, a lead researcher on the US study, said the antioxidants in coffee could explain these results.

“Coffee contains a lot of antioxidants and phenolic compounds that play an important role in cancer prevention,” she said.

“We cannot say drinking coffee will prolong your life, but we see an association. If you like to drink coffee, drink up! If you’re not a coffee drinker, then you need to consider if you should start.”

There is one slight catch though, the researchers can’t conclusively prove that it was the coffee and not other factors that yielded these results. Their findings call for future research into the life-prolonging potential of ‘survival juice’.

Sir David Spiegelhalter, a professor for the public understanding of risk at Cambridge University, said: “If these estimated reductions in all-cause mortality really are causal, then an extra cup of coffee every day would on average extend the life of a man by around three months, and a woman by around a month.

“Pro-rata, that’s as if that cup of coffee puts, on average, around nine minutes on a man’s life, and around three minutes on a woman’s. So perhaps we should relax and enjoy it.”

Meanwhile, a dark shadow has been cast over the health benefits of turmeric. New reports suggest that Tumeric’s life-altering effects have been blown out of proportion and that there is no evidence that it has any therapeutic benefits. A moment of silence for environmentally woke beverage drinkers everywhere please.

*Dr. Evil Laugh.*

Via the Independent.

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