Science Says Being a Disgusting Mess Actually Means You’re Very Smart!

News. Posted 10 months ago

Catalogue Staff

One of the most intelligent women of our times. Image Source.

Hi, this is science. I’m calling to let you know that all your bad habits are actually just proof of your superior intelligence, social skills, and life expectancy. Your mum says “It looks like a bomb went off in here!” every time she walks into your bedroom? You always pretend that you’re “on your way” somewhere 20 minutes before you actually leave the house? You stay up at night binge-watching episodes of Yummy Mummies? Don’t bloody worry mate, you’re just super smart. Wait, you also swear profusely and put everything off until the literal last minute? Okay, you’re basically Einstein.

The Guardian has identified various recent studies emerging from the pop science field that explain how “what you thought was terrible about you is actually terrific”. Writer Arwa Mahdawi, the mastermind behind the article, uses this very real science to prove that she’s actually the smartest, most well-adjusted person in the world. And, guess what, so are you! Here’s a break-down of all the “bad” things you do that are not only good for you, but an indication of your mental acuity. (Pat yourself on the back while reading).

Going to bed late and waking up late. This is great. Keep doing this. A 2009 study entitled Why Night Owls are More Intelligent says smart children turn into nocturnal adults. The science: staying up late is “evolutionary novel” behaviour that means you’re more likely to be a smart/successful person. A separate study found that people who go to bed after 11pm and wake up after 8am earn more than early risers. Can someone who hasn’t selected writing as their profession please confirm?

Bless this mess! Actually. Messy people are blessed with extra creative minds, according to a study from the University of Minnesota. That is because “Disorderly environments seem to inspire breaking free of tradition, which can produce fresh insights. Orderly environments, in contrast, encourage convention and playing it safe.” Sounds legit. But the benefits of disorganisation don’t stop there, being late all the time also means you are a low-key genius. Psychologist Dr Linda Sapadin says lateness indicates “an obsessive thinking problem”. No you weren’t running late because you were looking at memes, you were running late because you’re just too thoughtful. Der.

Swearing is another sign that your brain is simply too strong. I shit you not. A study into the “knowledge of slurs and general pejoratives” found that those who swear more simply have bigger vocabularies. Can’t argue with that.

But wait, there’s more! There’s a study that says you’re smart for watching trashy reality TV because you’re doing it ironically.

Another that says procrastination is a sign of perfection.

And there’s even scientific proof that chocolate helps memory and brain function.

So forget about that assignment, grab yourself a tub of ice cream, crawl into your bed, and put your TV on — it’s time to exercise that brain!

Via The Guardian.

In other science news:

Science Has Spoken: Working in Hospo is More Stressful Than Neurosurgery

Science Has Confirmed We All Use Our Phones to Avoid Speaking to Other Humans at Parties

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